Unsolicited Career Advice from Us to You
P.S. Fall TV guide, cookbook FOMO, an excellent eyeliner tutorial, and more
Dear friends,
We were delighted to appear as guests on the Generation Mom podcast, hosted by sisters Rachel, Laurel and their delightfully wise mother, Pam. In the episode, we explore the decline of hustle culture, the joy of creating content for its own sake, and the evolving perspectives on work-life balance across generations (can you guess which ones we are?).
In the process of unpacking our shifts in career values for the pod—from financial success to personal fulfillment—some solid fodder for this edition of LFQ emerged. Despite both still feeling like works in progress personally and professionally, we, surprise surprise, have opinions on a few career-y trends we’d like to go away and some that we’d like to see gain a bit more traction. Our hope is that they validate your own frustrations, keep you from making some of the same missteps we have, or simply provide a bit of levity in the middle of the work day. Thank you for making us a part of yours!
You got this,
Kate & Elizabeth
Hustle culture and the Girl Boss era are dead. They both served their purpose but if we ever see another “Wake Up and Grind” coffee mug we’re going to lose it. Be a boss, and by all means start a side hustle, but don’t go changing yourself or proving yourself to anyone along the way because you are a “girl.” There’s no disclaimer required for deserving a seat at the table. Both the self-proclaimed hustle ethic and girl-bossery carry an implicit humble brag that leave people feeling more uneasy than empowered. Obv not the intended effect, so let’s move past it, ok?
Imposter syndrome isn’t doing us any favors. Even the idea’s originators now question its value. No one has it all figured out, even if they act otherwise. And while it might make you feel better in the moment to talk about your fraud complex, you’re essentially devaluing your worth, undermining your experiences and eroding your confidence in the process. We’re learning this ourselves as we write this, and it’ll probably take a few reminders to truly sink in, but we gotta kick the fraudster feels to the grave once and for all. We’ve listened to enough Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend podcasts to know that everyone from Keri Russell to Al Pacino wrestles with worthiness. A genuine effort in any endeavor will likely advance the ball one way or another. A hyper-focus on the self is just a distraction.
Talking about salary isn’t taboo. The more we, particularly as women, share our pay information with friends and industry peers, the more we empower ourselves to ask for what we deserve. Taking the stigma out of money gives us all more sovereignty in job negotiations, raise requests, and how we navigate career choices. We know we’ve got a ways to go here, but it’s a good mindset to grab on to, particularly as more jobs now require posting comp ranges. The stigma probably has more to do with the judgments of our so-called success (see below) we fear people will make upon learning said salaries or giving us the up-down on how they think we spend (or don’t) based on that intel. Choose your confidantes wisely as this one permeates networking spaces that are both personal and professional.
Hard skills are overrated. Earlier in our careers, we wondered if our contributions as people managers counted for the same if they weren’t as quantifiable. In retrospect, we realized we’ve landed and even thrived in leadership roles because of our soft skills. Collaboration, creativity, empathy, emotional intelligence . . . the very strengths that have historically been minimized in the workplace and even by our own accounts are the unsung heroes of the business world. Just the other day Kate was in a conversation where she questioned why a male colleague can’t be self-aware enough to cede the spotlight. The deeply gendered answer no doubt lies in a Soft Skills Desert that will (hopefully) soon become a thing of the past.
Climbing the ladder is optional. A linear career path used to be the de facto road to stability and satisfaction. Now, thanks to the internet, remote work and the growing gig economy, there’s a name for having more than one job or income stream: portfolio career. How good is that turn of phrase for explaining at cocktail parties or at job interviews why you’re not still working 9 to 5? Own it.
“Success” isn’t defined by accolades, money or titles. Those are all nice to have, and can certainly be valiant goals, but if you’ve checked the boxes and aren’t waking up in a good mood, what was it all for? It’s amazing how the need for external validation falls away when you focus on how you feel. We got into this one in a pretty big way on the podcast, and were so appreciative of the perspectives that Rachel, Laura and Pam all brought forward. Pam reminded us that our Boomer parents hammered us with a “you can do anything” message because they were trying in good faith to liberate us from the often limiting expectations that the Silent generation placed on them. We all admitted that “you can do anything” can paralyze and confuse as much as it’s meant to unleash and awaken potential. Like we said, we’re a work in progress. Finding our respective paths to consistently waking up in a good mood is the journey we’re here for!
P.S.
Get out the vote in style with HiNote, our go-to correspondence app. We’re watching a ton of fall television: Disclaimer defied all of our expectations; the Martha Stewart doc drops on Netflix today and it looks real dishy; Detroiters for a ridiculous and hilar palate cleanser; and Shrinking is back! Didn’t know how much we needed an eyeliner tutorial. Seriously considering enrolling in an AI Masterclass. Saluting this thoughtful take on Tony Soprano’s allure. A transitional fall LBD, maybe with foldover boots. We want everything in The Foundry’s seasonal shopping guide. Cannot wait to roll up our sleeves with Matty Matheson. Snafu is an acronym. Who knew!?
Got a pressing question or confounding topic you’d like us to tackle? We’re all ears at lesfemmesq@gmail.com.